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Zabier

Drunken Stories

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Please feel free to use this topic to share your favourite memories of drunken nights out or other incidents that involved consuming a lot of alcohol and doing stuff you normally wouldn't feel comfortable doing when sober. Don't be shy in telling us about that one time when you necked your mate for £2.50 or when you let someone piss on your leg just to prove your masculinity! We've all done it... right??? :rolleyes:

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We've all done it... right??? :smokin:

I'd suspect most people around here are like 15. In Britain, children drink metholated spirits at 4 years of age. Bets on this being the most active topic on the site?

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Kicking a helium can = 6 stitches in foot.

Never drink kids.

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I remember whilst walking to a club one of my mates walked into a lamp post and split his head open. Instead of going on the hunt for cunt we spent the night in A&E. :D

I'm teetotal now, however. I haven't drank in a month. Mainly because I have no money.

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I remember a time I was pretty fucked. I kissed a total of 4 boys and a couple of right munters too just for a grand total of £5 which is alright I guess. These girls were just... ergh. :D

Oh and just before you think anything, it wasn't exactly fun kissing blokes either.

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Here's a short list of a few stupid things I've done:

Nudity.

Wearing womens underwear.

Vandalism.

Chappie.

Shagged a really really really fat lass.

Necked a bloke.

Bribed a girl to fuck off out my face.

Fought with random strangers for no reason.

Taken highly illegal drugs.

Get an animal drunk.

Fought with a bin - Broken kuckles.

Chased sheep/tipped cows.

Smashed windows.

Made homemade explosive devices.

Sex in public/the same room as 10 other people.

Alcohol is bad, kids.

And that's just the start.

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Here's a short list of a few stupid things I've done:

Nudity.

Wearing womens underwear.

Vandalism.

Chappie.

Shagged a really really really fat lass.

Necked a bloke.

Bribed a girl to fuck off out my face.

Fought with random strangers for no reason.

Taken highly illegal drugs.

Get an animal drunk.

Fought with a bin - Broken kuckles.

Chased sheep/tipped cows.

Smashed windows.

Made homemade explosive devices.

Sex in public/the same room as 10 other people.

Alcohol is bad, kids.

And that's just the start.

The ones that are in bold are things that I have done too.

I am just a younger and more sexier version of you in all honesty. :blush:

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Haha, try getting a chicken drunk :P Stole the carpet from the local chinise shop as well <_< I can handle my drink so it's alright, some of my mates though...

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I'm out with the girlfriend in Merthyr town tonight. It could quite possibly be the most offensive night of my life! I have a tendency of getting into ridiculously dangerous confrontations on a night out. My brother says it's because I have a face that wants a punch lol. Maybe he's right.

Anyway, here's my story about Brecon Jazz Festival last weekend. It was heavy. Myself and four mates (Steff, Dale, Jim and Andy) had been out in Cardiff on the Friday night. We started drinking at 6pm, went to a few random Cardiff haunts e.g. Steff, Jim and Andy's house, Gassy Jack's, Kitty O'Flynn's (at the bottom of Chippy Lane and dirty!), The Goat Major, Pica Pica, Philharmonic, Bar Iota and then ended up at the casino at 5am. I was then up and awake to meet my mates for the Cardiff game before midday after not getting in to bed until gone 7am. I felt like shit waking up.

I then went to the Cardiff game, saw us lose 1-0 to Stoke despite dominating the game and missing a penalty. I then got back from the game via the chip shop, packed my car with the essentials (beer, water, clothes, tent and sleeping bag) and headed on up to Brecon to meet Andy, Jim, Steff, Dale and Legge. Legge was the one who would turn out to create the most memorable moments.

When I got up to Brecon the boys were all drinking near the town square so I dumped my car in a suburban street and hopped into town. At Brecon Jazz, the deal is that you buy a plastic pint glass for 50p and keep hold of it. They just refill it in bars and you take it everywhere with you. That way there's no mess on the streets and people can wander about everywhere with their drinks. I met them in one bar, the name escapes me. Apparently I'd only walked through Brecon with my flies undone. Bang! Good start! When we went inside the pub we sat down and started doing drinking games. Baring in mind we were all still hungover as fuck... bar Legge who was fresh and necking pints like a mofo. We were doing this game where we put our fingers around the rim of an empty pint glass and then we'd have to say a number. When the number was said you either removed your finger or left it on the pint glass. If the caller guessed the right number of fingers left on the pint glass then they'd be out. The lone survivor would have to neck their drink. Anyway, some guy in drag came over to us and said 'ooh, lovelies, you can put your fingers on me!'. This sparked Dale (a man very against homosexuality in such a camp manner) to start kicking off and saying how he didn't mind people being gay but when they started throwing it in his face it wasn't acceptable. After much banter we found out that this drag guy was out with a load of other married couples who were cross dressing so we had some friendly verbals with them and bid them farewell.

We then walked past this art gallery. Just randomly open with a guy playing acoustic covers. We went in and watched for a bit. Legge started talking to a fairly fit middle aged woman about one of the paintings. He then put his arm around her and pointed at ones he liked. A guy then walked past us, pointed at Legge and whispered 'if your mate touches my wife, I'll break his fucking neck'. He then offered us free Brecon ale, which was strong as fuck. We then talked to him for about an hour about the paintings. It turned out he was the art gallery owner and he was a really nice guy. It was a wicked, ambient and very random atmosphere. This guy playing Bob Dylan's 'Tambourine Man' in the background, us drinking Brecon ale in an art gallery whilst talking to the owner. Very strange.

Anyway, after a while we left. Legge had promised to buy an £895 painting as a mark of his regret for coming onto the art gallery's owner. We headed onto a retro pub called Siddon's or Sniddon's. I can't remember what it was called. This caused a funny conversation with the police later on in the night when we said we were lost and they asked where we wanted to go. We all responded with three answers...

Jim: Kebab.

Dale: Casino.

Me: Snid... Sid... Sny... the bar with the old fat birds in it!

We had lost Steff to his girlfriend who had conveniently also turned up at Brecon Jazz and tracked us down. Meanwhile Legge and Andy had followed some girls somewhere and we lost them for a bit. In Siddon's (we'll call it that for the sake of the argument) we had a few pints. I got a free pint because the bar maid forgot to charge me. We got confronted by some fat birds. I used my charm to get some free stuff off them e.g. a drink, packet of crisps and a sticker that said 'beautiful bombshell' on it. :D

After watching Match Of The Day and feeling quite uncomfortable with the tension of older men who looked like ex-cons and hooligans in the place we left and bumped into Steff, Legge and Andy outside. We all headed to a place called The Lounge. We didn't stay here long. Steff met some old mates he knew in school, Legge fucked off the bouncer by constantly opening the fire door and telling people it was the smoking area. I also upset a girl when we were sat on a 2 seat sofa with no edges. I was falling off and said 'can you stick to your side of the seat please?'. When she turned around and said she was I saw how fat she was and how demoralised she was! :D Bullying! The only cure for obesity! wacko.gif

So we left after the bouncer basically chucked us out threatening to batter Legge for being a 'fucking shit'. We then had the police conversation about Siddon's and then hit that bar again. We were hammered by now and decided to turn the place into a pit. After getting drinks we decided to start chanting 'Ring Of Fire' by Johnny Cash and started to get naked. This caused most of the pub to join in before the head bar maid stopped the music and shouted 'this isn't a fucking rave you morons, now put your clothes back on or fuck off!'. Legge then spotted a 60 year old who was off her face. He saw this as a great photo opportunity. He got us to take pictures of him with her firstly grabbing her breasts from behind, then licking her face before actually necking her! It was disgusting. Expect pictures on facebook. This was made even more funny by the fact Legge was actually setting off early the next morning to Devon to save his relationship with his girlfriend! Oh dear!

The night then got surreal. We were basically kicked out of Siddon's because we said the barmaid looked like Ian Beale's daughter and then Dale claimed he was 'starstruck' when he pointed out the two main bar regulars as looking like Right Said Fred! We left, got a kebab and then met the magical guy who called himself the Big Cheese Of Jazz! He was a legend. Once again, expect photos on facebook soon! :D

Legge then went off somewhere with another girl, completely in the opposite direction of where our tents were to be situated. So we left him and the five of us (myself, Jim, Andy, Dale and Steff) went to my car, picked up the tent stuff and beer before heading on the epic walk to our campsite (a village hall lawn!)... or so we thought...

It turned out that via meeting a girl who wanted to go to Three Cocks (despite us saying we had five right here) and a group of chavs intent on swimming across the canal Steff, a man who had lived in Brecon for 20 years of his life, in fact sent us in the wrong direction! We walked a total of 2 hours on a dual carriageway towards Hereford before it was so black we couldn't see any town lights on the horizon or nothing. We were carrying a tent, sleeping bags, clothes and beers in the dark. It was 6am before we'd pitched up tent outside a random village hall on the outskirts of Brecon. Myself and Jim were quite pleased that we'd set up this tent in the pitch black, whilst it was raining, after 4-5 hours of solid walking and being completely wasted!

The ironic thing was that Legge had reached this random spot before us! The bastard!

The next day myself and Andy (the two designated drivers) somehow made it home without getting stopped by the police. I picked Shelley up in Merthyr on the way through as well before myself and Steff played our part in beating top of the table in five a side in the evening 5-3. It just goes to prove kids... drinking is big and it is clever! :D

Now... where's my bottle of 12% Bush and my car for the trip to Merthyr?! :)

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Shagged a really really really fat lass.

How is that stupid. Surely thats a clever thing to do.

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How is that stupid. Surely thats a clever thing to do.

He said fat.

You may have just read it wrong unless you like this kind of girl.

1-fat-birthday-l.jpg

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How is that stupid. Surely thats a clever thing to do.

Not if you seen her.

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I'm pretty dissapointed this isn't as popular as first thought.

Anyway, the weekend of my uncles funeral i decided to go out with friends on

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Just sounds like an average night out, tbf.

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I 'll have a story for you tommorrow :D

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lol yeah most probably but tis recent and thought i'd share it :) as its a story of drunkeness and the thread is called drunken stories :checkit:

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Many things.

Attempted to enter the wrong tent last night and kicked off at the poor bastard in it cos i thought it was mine.

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Not much of a story from last night really, kicked off with a bloke in his 30's though for pulling his cousin, he ended up walking away, not sure why, maybe because I'm rock hard? And i also managed to get two girls arguing who are best mates, this girl likes me and i accidently pulled her best mate in front of her and they started arguing ;|

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You must be a right magnet. Shame they were shemales. ;|

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You must be a right magnet. Shame they were shemales. ;|

The worst thing is, the girl that likes me is pretty fit and the one i pulled for a laugh is really bad ;|

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Nia? Emma? Siobahn? ;|

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No, No, No :D

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Elgin and Dafydd? ;)

I drank two cans last night and almost spewed because I'm ill... which sucks more than Rich's shemales.

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On teh way home from some party once, I found soem dead cat lying in the road and me and my mates started playing american football with it. Not proud of it to say the least but was funny at the time, did have a picture of my holding it by its tail but not sure where it got to.

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